It's me again

 I'm crying again😭can't seems to walk out of this sorrow of my child not living with me and not visiting me often.

I'm afraid of being left alone without any loved ones to love me or care for me. So heart pain at the thought of unable to see my grand child.

It's karma, yes karma. It's bouncing back at me. In my younger days, I don't visit my own father, only on occasions or during festive period I go see him.

Now, in my golden years, I faced this karma. I can only cry and cannot blame anyone. I deserve it!

Slapped myself many times but it cannot undo all those horrible things I've done in my younger days.

I can't sleep well. I think I got insomnia or going into depression. I can't help not thinking about it every night

Now, at work, getting scolded for someone's else mistake is making my depression worst.

Luckily got some activities on Friday and Sunday, at least takes my mind off for a few hours. But when it comes to sleeping hours, this is what will happen. Yes, cant's sleep and start crying and writing down my thoughts, just like what I'm doing now.

Do you think I should go see psychiatric????

I write and write but nobody respond. >sigh<

so sad.👪